This is a secret crime that involves a wide range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child.An adult or older adolescent(15-19) uses a child or younger adolescent for sexual satisfaction. It's is known as child sex abuse.
Abusers are mostly not strangers, they are in our homes, co-tenants, family friends, lesson teachers, neighbours, friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, teachers, mummy's friend, daddy's friend, caregivers, strangers........ and may more others who are close to us or in one way or the other associated with us.
Forms of Molestation
-Defilement
-Rape
-Fingering
-Making a child watch pornography
-Exposing the genital to kids
-Indecent touching
-Fondling
-Forcing a child to suck a guys dick/ a female breast etc
Child sexual abuse occurs due:- Parental negligence, carelessness, nonchalant attitude, absentee parents. parents who do not observe, lack of sexual education/ information by both kids and parents ,what you watch with your kids, indecent dressing, poor parent-child relationship, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic violence etc.
Child sexual abuse happens:- On your bed, in your compound, right under your nose, under your roof, in the school environment- class,toilet etc, hostel, parties, in their room (siblings), deserted/Abandoned places, when you are distracted etc.
Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds, monitor their play. Monitor your kids dressing make sure their dressing does not expose their sexual parts, teach them privacy,they must knock and seek permission before they enter your room, don't bath them together irrespective of sex. teach your child The SRR action.
R - Run
R - Report
More often than not,we pay more attention to the girls than the boys. Boys are mostly victims of anal sex but because we do not pay attention to them, healing has become a terrible process. Watch over your boys cause most of these boys don't speak out they keep this pain in them grow with it and then end up becoming perpetrators. Do not be a hard mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline, give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education., tell them what nobody must do with their body, tell them to speak out. teach them to respect one another's privacy.
HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER
- Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
- Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.
- Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
- Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his move
HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?
- Baits: Emotional bait, Gift bait, Financial bait, Familiarity & Respect bait.
- Child grooming: Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.
- Preferential Treatment
WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS OR DO TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT
- I will kill u
- You will die
- Your mummy will hate you
- Your mummy will beat you
- Your mummy will blame you.
- Your mummy and your daddy will die.
- He could cut the child, lick the blood and say' "this is a blood covenant between us ,the day you tell is the day you die"
- Buys the child expensive gifts
- Always meeting the needs of the child
POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED
- Isolation
- Aggressiveness
- Anxiety/Fear
- Difficulty in walking
- Sudden drop in academic performance
- Poor social interaction
- Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
- Depression
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